Congratulations, you lazy pigs

1/23/2007

If you were born in 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983 or 1995, go ahead and celebrate. This is your year.
This is the Year of the Pig.
The Chinese lunar calendar is based on a 12-year cycle, and uses animal signs to mark each year in the loop. The animals represent a cyclical view of time, and not our commonly accepted linear approach, with the beginning of the year falling in late January or early February.
The pig is the last animal of the Chinese lunar cycle.
According to legend, the twelve animals quarreled one day over who would head the cycle of years. The gods were asked to decide and held a contest: whoever reached the opposite bank of the river would be first, and the rest would receive their years according to their finish.
All twelve animals gathered at the river bank and jumped in. Unknown to the ox, the rat had jumped upon his back. As the ox was about to jump ashore, the rat jumped off the ox's back, and won the race. The pig, who was very lazy, ended up last. That is why the rat is the first year of the animal cycle, the ox second, and the pig last.
Congratulations, you lazy pigs.
People born in the Year of the Pig are said to be honest and forthright. Whatever they do, they do with all their strength. For a pig, there is no left or right, and no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude. They don't make many friends, but they make them for life; and anyone having a pig for a friend is fortunate, as they are extremely loyal.
The piggies don't talk much, but have a great thirst for knowledge. They like to study, and are generally well informed. Boar people are quick tempered, yet they hate arguments and quarreling, and are kind to their loved ones. No matter how bad a problem may be, the gallant pig will try to work it out as honestly as possible.
Pig folks are creatures of habit. They dislike travelling too far from familiar surroundings, unless it is a trip to the countryside. They love nature and are never happier than when they are out somewhere, far from the city.
People of the pig type are the most admired by others.
So, you see, it is good to be the pig—unless, of course, you prefer not to put any stock in Chinese lunar hogwash.
The animal signs are also useful for finding out people’s ages. Instead of asking directly how old a person is, simply ask for his or her animal sign. This places that person’s age within a cycle of 12 years and, with a bit of common sense, you can deduce the person’s exact age.
If your friend winds up being a pig, take the next step and ask their true age—and see if they are still as honest as the broad-shouldered boar is supposed to be.
Famous old pigs include Alfred Hitchcock, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lucille Ball and Humphrey Bogart. There is also Henry Ford, Elton John, David Letterman, and Ernest Hemingway; along with Los Angeles Lakers Magic and Kareem, rappers Snoop Dogg and Tupac, plus a wide multitude of others from all walks of life.
It may be worth mentioning the next time someone calls you a pig. You are in rather good company.