Canada’s greatest invention is not poutine

1/10/2007 Last week, the CBC culminated its recent search for the greatest Canadian invention of all time. No need to worry, though. It’s not poutine. The search was by no means scientific, as the top 50 was determined solely by votes from whatever Canadian felt compelled to do so. While some of the top votes were not surprising, some were. Poutine, a purportedly edible slop of fries, curds and gravy, that someone first discovered on the bottom of a Quebec shoe, actually made it to #10 on the CBC list. How this invention has helped shape or improve the world will forever escape me. Then again, the drunks also had their say, and voted the caesar into the #13 position. Clams and tomato juice never had it so good, while such important inventions, such as the ardox spiral nail (#46), plexiglas (#42) and self-propelled combine harvester (#38) were largely ignored by voters. Not surprisingly, the telephone and light bulb finished in the top three, second only to insulin. The list did have its surprises, shedding light on the fact that the caulking gun, green garbage bag, instant mashed potato flakes, paint roller, pablum and alkaline batteries are all Canadian inventions. My own vote for the top ten is as follows: 10 - Electric oven. In 1892, Thomas Ahearn served a 15-course meal to guests, and they were shocked to learn it was cooked by electricity. His invention forever changed the way we cook meals. 9 - Robertson screw. Peter Robertson’s “square head” screw was the best in 1908, and still is. 8 - Electron microscope. In 1939, James Hillier and Albert Prebus opened a gateway to how we look at the world, changing science and medicine. 7 - Pacemaker. Wilfred Bigelow, John Hopps and John Callaghan started saving lives with it in 1950, and today millions are living full lives because of it. 6 - Wonder bra. In 1964, Louise Poirier unveiled her underwire plunge and push bra. It remains one of Canada’s most popular and uplifting discoveries. 5 - Zipper. Gideon Sundback’s simple 1913 design is still a part of everyday life, everywhere. 4 - Insulin. In 1921, Banting and Best knew they had a miracle on their hands. Today, 17,000,000 people take insulin every day to combat diabetes. 3 - Telephone. When Bell made his first call in 1876, little did he know the world would shrink as never before. The phone is the first real invention of the modern world. Many can’t live without it. 2 - Standard time. Sandford Fleming’s efforts to create time zones in 1878 synchronized the planet. The world works today because of standard time. 1 - Light bulb. Matt Evans and Henry Woodward invented it in 1874, and then sold it to Edison. Like rediscovering fire, the light bulb touches and benefits every aspect of life today, across the globe.