Take me to your Colonel

11/21/2006

When the aliens land, and you have to believe they will now, they will know who the leader of planet Earth truly is—Colonel Harland D. Sanders.


According to company officials, KFC has the honour of being the first brand to be visible from outer space. Out in the Nevada desert, near super secret Area 51, the company recently arranged a collage of colour-coded tiles to create an 87,500 square feet logo of the Colonel’s grinning face.


The stunt consists of 65,000 painted tile pieces, assembled like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and the "Face from Space" took more than 3,000 hours to create from inception to launch. The logo took 24 days of working around the clock to manufacture.


It then took six days on site to construct the logo, during which time the design pieces were kept hidden and under cover from identified, as well as any nosy unidentified, flying objects.


One can only imagine how proud KFC shareholders must be of this fine use of company resources.
Whether any aliens will spot the Colonel and leave our stratosphere in fear is anyone’s guess, but the project has certainly sparked some discussion.


There are those who feel the Face from Space answers the mystery of that ominous face on Mars, which we now know is simply another interstellar corporate logo placed by some alien ad agency.


Those who believe the end times are near, that we are careening at top speed towards doomsday, will now think KFC has doomed the human race; because all the hungry aliens who would otherwise be cruising right past are going to stop for chicken, get nuked by any government insane enough to launch the big one, and send us into atomic winter.
If aliens are looking for a sign of intelligent life down here, the Colonel may have just proven we are not suited to join the galactic community. No alien race is going to want to hang out with a planet full of beings more interested in clogging their arteries than opening their minds.


Then again, this may be our ticket to conquering all the other planets. Presumably, aliens will come to Earth, serve the Colonel, get addicted to the best fast food in the galaxy, feel their own arteries slam shut with a bang, and bring an end to the galactic community in one more triumph for planet Earth.


In keeping with the mystery and lore of Area 51, there are those who think the entire stunt may be a conspiracy, a well-hatched plan if you’ll pardon the pun, to keep an evil race of space chickens from coming to Earth and enslaving our children.


Regardless, you have to hand it to KFC for going big, and having the resources to pull it off. It must be quite a sight, out there in the Nevada desert.


I wonder what it looks like from Uranus though.


Probably the same as any other KFC experience.