Ain’t no rules against fibreglass

11/14/2006

Sometimes you hear a story so fantastic, so unusually incredible, you know it can only be true.
Such is the case with the Pumpkin Regatta.


An old friend, known to many as the Duke, stopped by the other day. Over a few glasses of good cheer, he managed to tell me about his visit last month to Windsor, Nova Scotia, and his experiences competing in the great Pumpkin Regatta.


It was on the Windsor farm of Howard Dill that giant pumpkins evolved. A four-time Guinness Book of World Records holder and developer of the Dill’s Atlantic Giant pumpkin seeds, Mr. Dill is credited with launching the international craze of growing giant pumpkins. It seems only logical that someone would then think of hollowing out the great gourds, sitting inside them, and racing them across a lake.


In 1999, local citizens approached Mr. Dill’s son about boosting tourism, and he became the first to suggest racing pumpkins across Lake Pesaquid.


The event has since taken on a life of its own.


In the first year of the race, with a massive operating budget of $50, the Pumpkin Regatta attracted over 2,000 skeptical spectators who turned out to watch five brave, and no doubt equally skeptical, participants attempt to manoeuvre their hollowed-out giant pumpkins across Lake Pesaquid.


The Duke said there was approximately 6,000 spectators this year, all cheering madly—and roughly 5,999 of them were drinking madly as well.


And how did the Duke and his pumpkin finish?


After a practice run in which he thought he was the fastest of the field, or lake, Duke let youthful exuberance get the better of him, and he capsized before even hearing the starting gun.


Officially, he was listed as DNS. Did not start.


The hands-down champion of the event is Leo Swinimer Sr. of Halifax, who, in the words of the Duke, is “some crazy 70-year-old geezer who wins the thing every year. The guy is unbeatable.”


But not in 2007.


If Duke has anything to say about it, the geezer is going down; and he is already plotting a surefire way to overthrow the cagey veteran pumpkin pilot.


Schooled in architecture, Duke knows about structural dynamics. He is certain that if his team had scooped fewer Alexander Keith’s out of the cooler, and scooped more pumpkin guts out of his 660lb entry, the outcome could have been different.


He plans on returning to Windsor with another giant pumpkin, and shaving the shell down to the thickness of a thumb. Apparently, there is no rule against the use of fibreglass in preparing your pumpkin, and Team Duke plans on glazing the gourd until it is as hard as an Atlantic iceberg.


I wish him luck, and I just may join Team Duke. Someone is going to have to drink all that Keith’s.