The riding mower’s last ride...?

Mowing the lawn, for the most part, is a boring and tedious job. Unless you are in the habit of carving messages in the grass for low-flying planes, the job is routine. Sometimes, however, there’s a break in the routine. A good man I know, just for example, has been cutting his grass the same way for about 30 years. For the sake of protecting the innocent, we will call him Yard-Man. Every once in a while something exciting happens to Yard-Man, such as running over a snake or a nest of bees, but most often his circuits around the yard are uneventful. Not so this month. In the middle of a routine afternoon of mowing the long grass around the edge of the pond in the backyard, Yard-Man was startled into action when the steering linkage on his riding mower let loose. Finding himself suddenly careening out of control, Yard-Man fought hard to gain command of his now runaway mower. At the time, he had no way of knowing the steering was finished, and the mower was on a direct downhill race to the pond. By the time Yard-Man stomped on the brake, his riding mower was in the drink. And him with it. All Yard-Man could do was hang on for the ride as the machine plunged over the bank and into the water. He said it actually sank rather slowly for a tractor of its size, and he easily floated away from the mower to the safety of the shore, his heart leaping like the nearby frogs. It had been years since Yard-Man had been swimming in the pond, and he wasn’t too happy about it this time. Words like refreshing and invigorating did not cross his mind. Plenty of his favourite four letter words did, but were drowned out by the sloshing of his shoes as he walked back up to the house to ask for some assistance. Armed with nylon straps, he was quickly back in the pond and tying a knot suitable for towing. He considered leaving the whole mess underwater, for a watery memorial like the Titanic, but managed to get everything fastened to the trailer hitch of the car. With a steady pull, Yard-Man soon had his riding mower back on dry land. Once he confirmed the steering was shot, he set about fixing the problem. He then drained all the gasoline and oil from the engine, and began drying the whole fiasco out. After a couple days, Yard-Man had everything back together, and had settled his blood pressure enough to give the machine a try. It wouldn’t start, so he grabbed a beer and sat down beside the pool, half expecting deer to come wading through the lush, long leaves of grass in his yard. On the fourth day of trying to start the lawn mower, the engine sputtered, caught, and began running. Yard-Man smiled, and decided the best way to work out any lingering kinks was to give the machine a good workout. In defiance of everything the mower had thrown at him, brave sir Yard-Man finished cutting his lawn without incident. It has been a couple weeks now since the accident, and Yard-Man has had to endure a lot of ribbing, such as being asked if he now cuts his grass with flippers on. Personally, I have to hand it to him. Come hell or high water, literally in this case, there is just no stopping a good Yard-Man.