The hybrids have begun to emerge

5/17/2006

“If it is possible, it is done. If it is impossible, it will be done.” — a favourite saying of Evel Knievel

The impossible has finally happened.

The hybrids have begun to emerge.

Last week, way up north where the drifts meet the sky, an American hunter paid the ripe sum of $50,000 to shoot a bear—and that isn’t even the remarkable part. For $50,000, I could live inside a bear for a winter, but that isn’t important.

What makes this story important is that Johnny Gun shot what he thought was a polar bear. The authorities thought it was a grizzly bear and, after a round of testing, it was determined the blonde, suddenly unique, bear was both polar and grizzly.

And that isn’t even the remarkable part.

Officials are now saying the bear could be the first hybrid of its kind to be discovered in the wild.

It had been considered nearly impossible for the two species to mate, since polar bears mate on the ice, while grizzlies mate on land.

Confrontations between the two usually end in fighting. Then again, when two top predators are in the mood for love, not a whole lot can stop them.

Hybrids are not new, and breeding in captivity has been attempted for many years. In 1936, a male polar bear accidentally got into an enclosure with a female Kodiak bear at the U.S. national zoo, and the romance resulted in three hybrid offspring.

I doubt the polar bear felt it was an accident, and one of his sons, named Willy, grew into an immense specimen. Yes, strange things have been going on in the night at the zoo for many years, but this new case in the Northwest Territories is a first.

The scientists who know about such things believe the hybrid is the result of global warming.

Other intelligent folk believe this global warming problem is being caused by a rise in greenhouse gases, thanks to all our car parts, cow farts, and a multitude of other human sins, such as people who belch too much after eating garlic bread.

If this is indeed true, then we can expect more and more hybrid animals to show up from here on.

This is certain to rattle a number of people, especially those who resist change of any kind, but I prefer to look on the bright side.

For starters, arctic animals may start mixing and mingling with their southern cousins. This could throw a real wrench into the animal skin traditions of the north; but, from the sounds of things, our Inuit brothers will all be running around in shorts and T-shirts in 10 to 20 years anyway.

Nature has a way of looking after itself, and global warming may see animals from the tropics create hybrids as they venture north. If the pig and hippo ever end up hooking up, I look forward to the amount of bacon the hippoporkamus will produce.