Enough green to turn you green

April 2nd, 2008

Earth Hour. Earth Day. Earth Week. Earth Month. What on earth is going on? I feel like a big new bully has moved into the neighbourhood, and plans to keep smacking me in the head until my green teeth rattle loose. This bully loves green, and greets you with a smile while telling you over and over again what a terrible person you are. The bully’s name is Greenwashing, and I’ve had just about enough already. It’s time to hit back.

Green is everywhere now, and if you aren’t putting it on your product or in your home, you are made to feel like subhuman scum bent on killing the planet. The new push to see everything green has given rise to Greenwashing, a term that describes the act of misleading someone about the environmental benefits of a product or service.

Green is such a go-to word now, people are lying about their environmental efforts just to stay popular and appear as if they are doing the right thing. Whether you are putting a tree on a bottle of chemicals, claiming to be environmentally friendly without proof, or ignoring harmful effects in favour of clean ones, you are still Greenwashing.

The problem is, it isn’t easy to change the world. Just ask the activist who sat in a tree for two years to keep it from being cut down. The logging company cut down every other tree on the hill, but I’m pretty sure one big one is still standing, and there is one happy zealot up there looking for a little congratulations, and a bath. We should be directing our energies at the real abusers, not the individual.

Just as an example, every time the wind blows across China’s industrial area, it picks up toxins and debris, and knocks down a few Koreans living down the line. Leaving a light on above the sink suddenly doesn’t seem so bad, when you stop to look at that big picture. I’ve noticed the LCBO has gone back to paper bags, which is a step in the right direction. With a little care and a lot of time, trees are a renewable and valuable resource, so I guess I’ll continue to shop there.


Apparently, it is the right thing to do. Believe me, anyone who enjoys a drink on the sly prefers a brown paper bag to plastic any day. I’m trying to take a step in the right direction by walking more, any time of the day or night, any day of the year. Most people still prefer to drive everywhere, and they have that right, but walking can be a lot of fun at times. If you haven’t walked over the river lately, be sure to give it a try this spring. You won’t regret it, and it is better for the environment than sitting at home burning styrofoam.

The key is to set small, attainable goals, like Bill Murray did in “What About Bob?” when he was baby-stepping his way through one of his best performances. What we don’t need is someone badgering us every step of the way, telling us we’re not doing enough, and are not green enough.

I’ve already heard so much about Earth Month I’m ready to turn green, and not the good green either. It’s more like the green you turn when you are car sick. April has always been Earth Month, except when I was a kid they had a different name for it. It was called Spring. And I can’t wait for it to get here, paper bags and all.