Those who can’t play, drink

6/13/2006

Every four years the world goes a little crazy.

It has nothing to do with the alignment of the planets, the coming in and going out of the tides, or whether someone threw a dead skunk in the town well. It has to do with soccer, pure and simple.

The World Cup, the most significant competition in world football, began last Friday, and while it may not mean a whole lot on our western shores, it remains the world's most representative team sport event. After three years of qualifying, cheering, and crying, the month-long final tournament has come down to the world’s top 32 soccer superpowers.

There really is nothing like the World Cup.

It inspires fierce national pride like no other event, save the Olympics. Soccer is the world’s number one sport, played and watched by more people in more locations than any other game.It can be enjoyed on sand or in snow, in the rain or indoors. It can be played with equal skill by the tall or the small, and all it requires is a ball.

Over the seventeen tournaments held since 1930, only seven nations have ever won the World Cup. Brazil is the reigning champion, as well as the most successful World Cup team, having won the tournament a total of five times, while Germany and Italy are at Brazil’s heels with three titles each.

So, what if you happen to be from one of those countries who have never won the big one? What if the mystery and allure of soccer escapes you? What if you will never be what is known as an athlete?

Well, here’s a shocker: "Men who are not confident in their sporting abilities may try and make up for this by drinking excessively."So says Richard de Visser, whose new study looked into the masculine behaviours of young men in London, and how it all affects their health. The University of Sussex researcher conducted in-depth interviews with 31 men age 18-21, concluding they commonly use one type of masculine behavior to compensate for their inability to perform another.

With the World Cup tournament now in full swing, and his nation's young men expected to down a few extra pints during the televised action from Germany, de Visser thinks understanding the findings could improve health education.

I’m no scientist, but I would think any research limited to 31 men aged 18-21 might require a slightly larger study group. Mr. de Visser probably found the men huddled in the same pub, watching the game on the telly, as he stole a quick break from another marathon session of sheep cloning.

If Mr. de Visser thinks young men are going to trade in their lager and ale for cleats and balls, he had better think again. It just isn’t going to happen, not during the World Cup, not during the Stanley Cup, and not while any of us have an empty cup.